Smartest Answers To The Stupidest Questions

When people say while watching a film "did you see that?"
No Loser, I paid 150 bucks to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!!!


When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?"
If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass???


At the movies:
When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..


In the bus:
A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't u try again.


At a restaurant:
When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly
also spit in it.


When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating insensitive lout...it's just the
money.


When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry
or not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron !!!!